Vampires

Vampires

Directed by Vincent Lannoo

Produced by Left Field Ventures

201088 min5.2 / 10

A deadpan mockumentary satire that mines dark comedy from the mundane family dynamics of Belgian vampires, blending absurdist strangeness with genuine character observation.

Vincent Lannoo’s ‘mockumentary’ shows us a community of vampires in Belgium. The two ‘parents’ of the family are George and Bertha, who have two teenage children – or rather, they raise two former humans who they turned into vampires. Son Samson is a bit of a jack the lad: enjoying the sexual freedom of vampire life, with all the vigour of an irresponsible young adult regardless of consequences (even incest is not frowned upon in their world, where the word ‘wife’ is often synonymous with ‘mother’ or ‘sister’). Daughter Grace yearns for humanity in a different way: applying fake tan to get rid of her vampiric pallor, dressing in pink clothes, wishing she could feel emotion and even having a human boyfriend.

Questions people ask

  • Is Vampires scary? Not especially. Less frightening than 65% of films.

  • Does Vampires end with hope? Not especially. Less hopeful than 64% of films.

  • Is Vampires easy watching? About average. Almost exactly mid-range.

  • Is Vampires violent? About average. Almost exactly mid-range.

  • Is Vampires sad? About average. Almost exactly mid-range.

These describe how the film comes across, measured across the whole film and compared with other well-known films. They are not a content list — nothing here was counted or checked scene by scene, so for age-suitability or specific content use a classification board or a dedicated content-warning service.

23/ 100

Cinnamon Score

How much this film gives you that nothing else will, and whether it delivers.

Conventional, and it does not land.

Rarity95

How unlike any other film this one feels

Surprise6

How much more it delivers than it promises

Love5

How much audiences actually like it

The highest scores in the catalogue →

Ensemble

Like Vampires

Nearest across the full emotional profile.

Same Mood as Vampires

Nearest on what's most distinctive about this one.

Like Vampires, But Darker

Similar, pushed toward heavier and more intense.

Like Vampires, But Lighter

Similar, pushed toward warmer and easier.

Like Vampires, But Less Popular

Same territory, far fewer people have seen it.

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