Don't Go Near the Park

Don't Go Near the Park

They were cursed to eternal life at the cost of their souls!

Directed by Lawrence D. Foldes

Produced by Star Cinema, The Cannon Group

197983 min4.2 / 10

A brutal, curse-driven horror film centered on ancient cannibals hunting for virgin sacrifice in modern Los Angeles, built on graphic violence and supernatural dread.

In the prehistory of man, 12,000 years ago, two members of a superhuman tribe abuse the treasured secret of eternal youth. They use the methods of ritual cannibalism on the children of their own tribe and when discovered by the 'Queen' of the tribe, they are cursed to an eternity of old age with no chance to ever die. Now, in present day Los Angeles, their only hope to recapture eternal youth is the ritualistic sacrifice of a 16-year-old female virgin. Their existence is discovered by an investigative reporter and a young runaway child and this leads to an unexplained and terrifying confrontation

Questions people ask

  • Is Don't Go Near the Park easy watching? No. Less comforting than 99% of films.

  • Does Don't Go Near the Park end with hope? No. Less hopeful than 99% of films.

  • Is Don't Go Near the Park violent? Yes, very. More violent than 98% of films.

  • Is Don't Go Near the Park scary? Yes, very. More frightening than 94% of films.

  • Is Don't Go Near the Park sad? Barely. Less sad than 80% of films.

These describe how the film comes across, measured across the whole film and compared with other well-known films. They are not a content list — nothing here was counted or checked scene by scene, so for age-suitability or specific content use a classification board or a dedicated content-warning service.

12/ 100

Cinnamon Score

How much this film gives you that nothing else will, and whether it delivers.

Conventional, and it does not land.

Rarity39

How unlike any other film this one feels

Surprise5

How much more it delivers than it promises

Love3

How much audiences actually like it

The highest scores in the catalogue →

Ensemble

Like Don't Go Near the Park

Nearest across the full emotional profile.

Same Mood as Don't Go Near the Park

Nearest on what's most distinctive about this one.

Like Don't Go Near the Park, But Darker

Similar, pushed toward heavier and more intense.

Like Don't Go Near the Park, But Lighter

Similar, pushed toward warmer and easier.

Like Don't Go Near the Park, But Less Popular

Same territory, far fewer people have seen it.

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