Vamp U

Vamp U

Sorority Girls Suck!

Directed by Maclain Nelson, Matt Jespersen

201396 min4.6 / 10

A darkly comedic vampire romp that blends campus hijinks with gothic melancholy, using absurdist humor to explore centuries-old heartbreak and its destructive consequences.

Wayne Gretzky is a vampire who can't grow his teeth. His impotence began when he inadvertently killed Mary Lipinsky, the love of his life, 300 years ago. To take his mind off the pain, he teaches college history - who better? Attempting to regain his full power, he enlists help from his friend and colleague, Dr. Levine. Nothing works until a new semester brings freshman Chris Keller. She's a dead ringer for Mary and they have a lurid affair, while rumors fly around the campus. But it all sours when he turns Chris into a vampire and her newfound bloodlust spins out of control in a bloody rampage, making the rumors a little too real.

Questions people ask

  • Does Vamp U end with hope? Barely. Less hopeful than 78% of films.

  • Is Vamp U sad? Somewhat. More sad than 70% of films.

  • Is Vamp U violent? Somewhat. More violent than 60% of films.

  • Is Vamp U easy watching? About average. Almost exactly mid-range.

  • Is Vamp U scary? About average. Almost exactly mid-range.

These describe how the film comes across, measured across the whole film and compared with other well-known films. They are not a content list — nothing here was counted or checked scene by scene, so for age-suitability or specific content use a classification board or a dedicated content-warning service.

22/ 100

Cinnamon Score

How much this film gives you that nothing else will, and whether it delivers.

Conventional, and it does not land.

Rarity95

How unlike any other film this one feels

Surprise5

How much more it delivers than it promises

Love4

How much audiences actually like it

The highest scores in the catalogue →

Ensemble

Like Vamp U

Nearest across the full emotional profile.

Same Mood as Vamp U

Nearest on what's most distinctive about this one.

Like Vamp U, But Darker

Similar, pushed toward heavier and more intense.

Like Vamp U, But Lighter

Similar, pushed toward warmer and easier.

Like Vamp U, But Less Popular

Same territory, far fewer people have seen it.

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